1. Anonymous asked: DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND YET

    Yes. Yes I do.

     
  2. 22:15 28th May 2012

    Notes: 7

    Reblogged from hasselthehoff

    Tags: gpoyohzmat

    image: Download

    hasselthehoff:

i’m skyping with matt and he’s talking about pouring a bucket of saliva on me
i think in matt language that means he likes me

“You keep going back from being extremely adorable to being super rude, but you’re just so adorable that I forget about the rude part, and I feel like that should throw up a red flag, but you’re too adorable that I forget.”
Me paraphrasing horribly.  

    hasselthehoff:

    i’m skyping with matt and he’s talking about pouring a bucket of saliva on me

    i think in matt language that means he likes me

    “You keep going back from being extremely adorable to being super rude, but you’re just so adorable that I forget about the rude part, and I feel like that should throw up a red flag, but you’re too adorable that I forget.”

    Me paraphrasing horribly.  

     
  3. 22:10

    Notes: 2186

    Reblogged from cloudofguiltxxx

    (Source: iamasilentriot)

     
  4. 21:31

    Notes: 4

    Meet my eye. 

    Meet my eye. 

     
  5. 10:12

    Notes: 123

    Reblogged from 7-deadly--sins

    How nice—to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive.
    — Kurt Vonnegut (via slaughterhousefive)
     
  6. Anonymous asked: do you have a girlfriend yet?

    Almost

     
  7. 18:51

    Notes: 2

    image: Download

    This is why I can’t have friends.

    This is why I can’t have friends.

     
  8. I realize I have the entire English language to describe how I feel, but

    My balls hurt like balls right now.
    I swear to God.
    I feel like dying.

    I hope this is all over before I get married one day. I’d feel horrible if my wife is totally in the mood, and I say, “Not tonight. I feel like an elephant is using my ballsack as a platform for his pogo jumping world record attempt.” 
    I literally have no sex drive whatsoever. I’m not sure if I should be extremely concerned or not.

    Pardon my vulgarity. 
     

     
  9. 18:26

    Notes: 5

    Someone with an iphone should be my fake girlfriend, so I can use that one couples app.

    Hello potential fake girlfriends. 

     
  10. 21:57 25th May 2012

    Notes: 7

    Tags: vidcon

    image: Download

    This is my punishment for falling asleep on Google plus. 
I can’t even begin to describe how much I love my friends <3But I’m deathly scared that they’ll actually do this in person at Vidcon.  

    This is my punishment for falling asleep on Google plus. 

    I can’t even begin to describe how much I love my friends <3
    But I’m deathly scared that they’ll actually do this in person at Vidcon.